Easier said than done right? If someone says something hurtful to you, a “normal” reaction would be to lash out defending yourself. It is something that I struggle with every day in one form or another. However, when you do respond back in kind, you are basically taking on that persons feelings into your own space and that can have a negative impact on your being.
Yesterday I was browsing Craigslist and found a few surfing items that were a great deal that I wanted to share with fellow Seattle surfers so I posted a benign post in the private Seattle Surfers Facebook group and shortly thereafter there was a barrage of responses from members calling me a kook. In surfing, a kook is a wannabe, and it has a negative connotation.
My first thought was revert back to behavior which is ingrained in me and respond accordingly. However, I know from my many years on this planet that this will only fuel the fire, and I will invite their behavior and feelings into my own and that would be silly. Instead I felt sorry for the people who commented negatively (I also blocked them lol).
You see, when people call other people names or when they act ill towards another, it is because they have these feelings within themself. It is very transparent behavior and when you are able to recognize this, you will no longer take on other peoples negative feelings. When someone comes at you, or calls you names and such, don’t waste your energy defending yourself. Instead empathize with the individual(s) and know with certainty that their ill behavior resides within themselves.
The next time you experience anger or negativity from another person, don’t take it personally. It has nothing to do with you. This is something that lives within them.